For patients
Coming to an appointment with a cancer surgeon can be very stressful. Especially, if this is your first appointment or if your cancer has come back. Bringing a support person to the appointment can be helpful.
Preparation for the appointment:
Absorbing all the information.
- Is hard. It is OK to ask questions more than once and I’d recommend writing things down.
- If you need to take a break and a minute to absorb anything it’s OK to ask.
- Focus on the essential message.
- What is the key message?
- Have I understood it?
- Can I describe it to my loved ones?
Support person
- I recommend you bring a support person with you to your appointment. This can be anyone you like. They should be someone who will be helpful if the news is bad or good. They can also take notes and tell your other support people as well if you want. I’ve put some tips for them below.
For the support person
- Preparing for the conversation
- What do I know about what is going on?
- How serious is this and will I be able to cope with this situation?
- Do they want me to be present? Am I the best person to be here?
Observe the conversation.
- How can I best grasp all the information delivered during the conversation?
- What roles can and should I take on? Ask the person who is directly impacted.
- Bear with the situation.
- The rhythm of the conversation should be dictated only by the recipient and bearer of the bad news.
- What is the essential message? Have I understood it?
After the conversation.
- Once it is over, offer to discuss the conversation and summary again. If, however, the person no longer wishes to talk about it for the moment, this should also be respected. Try to focus on providing practical assistance, such as organizing a ride home or shopping.
- Don’t pressure yourself to immediately come up with perfect solutions.
Have a look at the how to help – taking care of someone with cancer tab.